“Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils” (Hector Berlioz)
“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea” (Robert A Heinlein).
“I hate that awkward moment when I spell a word correctly, but it looks so wrong that I stare at it forever – questioning its existence” (Anonymous).
“I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves” (Whisper).
And finally... (about dogs and people)
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person” (Andy Rooney).
“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man” (Mark Twain).
“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face” (Ben Williams).
“Scratch a dog, and you’ll find a permanent job” (Franklin P Jones).
“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful” (Ann Landers).
“Properly trained, a man can be a dog’s best friend” (Corey Ford).
“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult” (Rita Rudner).
“Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog” (Franklin P Jones).
“The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog” (Ambrose Pierce).
“Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate” (Sigmund Freud).