Actual writings in a Mpumalanga hospital register (A good reason to stay out of hospital!) - 

The patient has no previous history of suicides.
Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her side for over a year.
Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities (received via email on 30 November 2015).